Losing It All
by FastForward
Summary: What would happen to Ron and Hermione if Harry died during the final battle? Would they move on? Would they be beside themselves with grief? ... Or would they lose their sanity altogether?


**A/N: I give full credit to Katsu for the layout of this one-shot. She is awesome. She is also not a writer on this site… to my knowledge, anyway.**

**Also, this layout is set up so that if it says "subject", assume it is a recording. If it says "letter", then it is written out on paper, and so on and so forth. Also, be sure to note the dates. It'll jump around a bit.**

**Disclaimer: They're not mine, they belong to JK Rowling.**

SUBJECT: Granger, Hermione J.  
Doctor: Greyson, Balthazar Q.  
Time: 14:20 January 15th, 2005.

He likes flying… liked it. Flying. I think it made him feel free. Feel like he could do anything, you know?

I've never liked flying, it's not something one normally does.

_giggle_

Well, I guess maybe not when you're a Muggle, it's pretty normal when you're a witch or wizard.

_pause_

Where am I?

**Dr. Greyson:** St. Mungo's, Hermione. You've been here since the end of the war nearly a year and a half ago.

Wow. I don't remember the war. Did we win?

**Dr. Greyson:** We did. You helped.

I helped…

Yes, I think I did. I'm good like that. Smartest witch of my time, you know. I think Harry always resented that…

_pause_

_small sob_

I try to forget. Who wouldn't try? I don't remember what happened then.

_pause_

Where's Harry?

SUBJECT: Weasley, Ronald B.  
Doctor: Vertrusca, Marylin.  
Time: 17:50 January 22nd, 2005.

I dreamed about him last night. I dream about him every night. He worked hard to defeat Voldemort.

_small laugh_

If only he could see me now. I can say his name.

Over, and over, and over…

Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort—

_maniacal laugh_

Aren't you proud, Harry!

_heavy breathing, small chuckles on occasion_

He's proud, I know he is.

**Dr. Vertrusca:** Ron, it's been over a year and a half since the war. People still aren't sure how it happened. How _did_ Harry defeat He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?

_soft sound, like a hand lightly hitting a forehead_

Forget. Forget. Forget.

_maniacal laugh_

I was there. I saw it all. _All_.

_more laughter_

I didn't do anything. Uh uh. I did nothing. Harry did it all, yes he did. He's the hero… always the hero. Just the weasel… I'm just the weasel.

_laughter_

Why not ask Harry? What happened, Harry? Did you kill him?

_giggle_

Yes, I imagine you did. He did, didn't he? He's a hero. But are murderers allowed to be heroes?

_soft sound, like a hand lightly hitting a forehead_

Forget. Forget. Forget.

Letter from Ginevra Molly Weasley to Luna Lovegood.  
January 2005.

I saw Ron today. He was the same. By 'the same' I mean he's still insane. He doesn't remember Harry when you mention his name. Only when he thinks of him himself. It's scary, really, to see his eyes go blank at the mention of Harry's name.

They've separated Ron and Hermione. Apparently, they think Hermione still has a chance to get better. They're not sure Ron ever will. I hope he gets better. I want to know what happened. I want to know—how he died.

Witness: Longbottom, Neville.  
Interviewer: Shacklebolt, Kingsley.  
Time: 09:45 June 2nd, 2004.

I tried to help them, like I always try to help them. They wouldn't let me, said I would slow them down.

That hurt.

I was good enough in Fifth year, when we all went to the Ministry of Magic.

I was good enough in Sixth year, when the Death Eaters attacked.

But for this, I would slow them down.

**Shacklebolt:** What were they doing before the war broke out?

I'm not entirely sure, exactly. They told me a few things. After Dumbledore…

_long pause_

**Shaklebolt:** Mr. Longbottom?

Sorry, still hard to deal with, you understand. What were we discussing? Oh, yes, before the war.

_pause_

I'm not entirely sure myself what they were trying to do, but I remember them mentioning something about Horcruxes. Apparently, Dumbledore told Harry that Voldemort had seven of them. Harry destroyed one of them in the diary in Second year, and then Dumbledore destroyed another while we were in Sixth year. I think he went to find the other five.

_pause_

He said something about the snake You-Know-Who always had. Nagini, I think it was called. I think it was a Horcrux, too. So, that's three.

Ron let slip something about a locket Harry and Dumbledore found. He said the locket was a fake, and someone initialled RAB found the real one and destroyed it. It was true. It was Harry's Godfather's brother, Regulus Black. He took the locket and destroyed it. Harry found it in Twelve Grimmauld Place.

So, that was four. One he thought—because of Dumbledore—was in something belonging to Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. He was fairly certain there was nothing belonging to Gryffindor. One was obviously in Voldemort himself. He never did tell me what the last one was…

SUBJECT: Granger, Hermione J.  
Doctor: Greyson, Balthazar Q.  
Time: 22:18 February 4th, 2005.

You know what I miss most? I miss spending time with them. We had fun, the three of us. And the invisibility cloak made things so much more interesting. And then the Marauder's map. We did things. Bad things. Things we shouldn't have.

We never got into trouble. Dumbledore liked Harry. Harry was a good person. Did you like Harry?

**Dr. Greyson:** I didn't know Harry, Hermione.

Oh. Well, you would've liked him. It was hard not to. Malfoy was a prat.

Malfoy hated Harry. Suppose he still does. Wonder where Malfoy is now. Did Malfoy die? Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. He wasn't there. Didn't see him when the war happened. I think he ran. He was a coward.

Harry would've saved him, even if he was evil. But Harry died, didn't he?

_giggle_

Harry died. It's so funny. The war was over, and Harry died.

_giggle_

Life is so strange. There's so little, and so much of it.

_goes into a singsong voice_

One little spell, and you're dead. One little bullet and you're dead. One little illness and you're dead.

_pause_

Haven't seen Harry in a long time. Reckon he's resting after his defeat of Voldemort.

_giggle_

I was the only friend who ever said it. Vooool-deeeee-mooooooort.

_long laughter_

It's not even a scary name. It means 'Stealer of Death' in French. Did you know that? Fleur DeLacour told me once. It's funny.

_goes into uncontrollable giggling_

The Potter against the Stealer of Death.

_more giggling_

Seems ridiculous, doesn't it?

Witness: Malfoy, Draco.  
Interviewer: Shacklebolt, Kingsley.  
Time: 11:00 June 16th, 2004.

Heard Weasley and Granger have gone insane. Is it true?

**Shacklebolt:** We're not here to talk about them.

It is true, then. I should go visit them. Reckon it's hard to lose your best mate. Wouldn't know, really. I never had a best mate, did I?

**Shacklebolt:** Tell me about Harry, Mr. Malfoy.

Nothing to tell. He's a hero, he saved my life, end of story.

**Shacklebolt:** Were you there at the end?

When he died? No. I was fortunate enough not to have witnessed it. Reckon that's what drove the Mudblood and Weaselbee mad, innit?

**Shacklebolt:** Please refrain from using words like 'Mudblood', Mr. Malfoy.

Don't get your knickers in a twist, Shacklebolt. We all know I've got a soft spot for that one. Smart, pretty—everything my father despises. What more could a bloke ask for?

**Shacklebolt:** Can we please remain on-topic?

Yeah, yeah, whatever. No, I didn't see Saint Potter's end. Reckon it was brilliant though. Should've had it in the Daily Prophet or something. Everyone should've seen his end, it would've been spectacular. Him and the Dark Lord fighting… Wish I had stayed. But no.

_goes into a high-pitched, snobby voice_

You go along, Malfoy. You can't help us. We'll defeat Voldemort ourselves.

_scoff_

Smug bastards. But, I was injured, and I didn't care so much who won, anyway. So, I did what Saint Potter said. I left them there. And then, he went and got himself killed, and the other two went mad. Reckon I got the better end of the deal.

Exert from Harry Potter's Journal,  
May 17th, 2004.

We've destroyed another Horcrux today. It was in a cloak worn my Ravenclaw. We found it in an old Muggle store. Ironic, really. Something one of the Founders possessed, and it ended up in a Muggle shop.

That's five. The diary, the ring, the locket, Nagini, and the cloak. There's one left in Voldemort, and the last one is a mystery. I think I know where it is, but—I can't say anything. Ron and Hermione will worry. They'll insist I'm wrong, but I know I'm not.

We set out tomorrow. I told them I knew where the last Horcrux was. I told them it was with Voldemort, just like Nagini had been. They keep asking what it is, but I won't tell them. They'll find out, soon enough.

I hope they'll be okay once everything is over. I hope they'll forgive me.

SUBJECT: Weasley, Ronald B.  
Doctor: Vertrusca, Marylin.  
Time: 17:50 January 22nd, 2005.

I want to play Quidditch. With Harry. It's fun. Have you ever played Quidditch with Harry? Don't think you have, I'd have remembered.

_giggle_

He liked girls who played Quidditch. My sister played Quidditch. He liked my sister. Her name is Ginny, you know. Ginny Weasley. Her last name is just like mine.

_giggle_

It's funny. Her name is like mine. Could've been Potter one day. Ginny Potter.

_long pause_

_small sob_

Why did he do it? Why did he do it? There had to be another way. _There had to be another way!_

**Dr. Vertruscra:** Do what, Ronald? What did Harry do?

_crying_

_abrupt stop_

_small laugh_

Wands are pretty aren't they? Did you know you can cast a spell on yourself? I knew. I didn't know you could cast an Unforgiveable curse, though. Did you know? If I aimed my wand at me, and I said Crucio, it would hurt, and I wouldn't be able to stop hurting until I told it to stop. How does it work like that? I mean, if you think about it, you have to hate the person you're doing it to. I don't hate myself, but it would work.

**Dr. Vertrusca:** Ronald, did Harry use an Unforgiveable Curse on himself?

Who's Harry?

_laughter_

Letter from Draco Malfoy to Hermione Jane Granger.  
August 2004.

Hello Granger.

Yes, it's me. Malfoy. Who else would call you 'Granger'?

Hear you've got yourself in quite a state. Heard you've gone insane. It's a waste, really. Your mind was so full of information. You really should try not to be crazy, it's not very becoming.

The funny thing is, you probably don't even find this insulting. You're so mad that everything I say is just amusing to you. I suppose when you get better you'll want to have a chat. I'd be happy to oblige.

I never did thank you for saving my life, Granger. Potter did it, really, but I know you convinced him. When you're better, perhaps I'll take you and your Mudblood parents out for dinner. Least I can do, after all.

You probably won't believe me, but I am sad that Potter died. I'm also sad you and Weaselbee are insane.

Well, maybe not Weaselbee, but I'm sad you are. You were always a worthy opponent. Were you not so impure, maybe I would have considered a relationship of some sort with you.

Listen to me, going on and on, and you probably don't even know what I'm saying. It's a little depressing, really. I would almost pay for you to punch me again, just to know that some of the old Hermione is still in there, somewhere…

I'll come visit, I promise. Maybe drop by Weaselbee's, too. Stranger things have happened.

Draco Malfoy.

SUBJECT: Granger, Hermione J.  
Doctor: Greyson, Balthazar Q.  
Time: 18:12 September 22nd, 2005.

**Dr. Greyson:** You've improved a great deal Hermione.

Have I? I hadn't noticed…

Perhaps it was being away from Ron…

I miss Ron. All the time. He's a good friend. But I think you're right. I think I did improve. Ron was worse than I was, and being with him made me worse.

_shuffle_

Ron knew Harry longer. Not by much, but he did. I think—I think he blames himself for what happened. His insanity drove me insane.

_giggle_

_abrupt stop_

I'm sorry. I tried. It's hard to forget—hard to forget that you were insane. Some things just stay with you.

**Dr. Greyson:** Hermione, can you tell me what happened? On that night, what happened?

SUBJECT: Weasley, Ronald B.  
Doctor: Vertrusca, Marylin.  
Time: 18:13 September 22nd, 2005.

Harry can't come back, you know. Uh uh, he can't.

_giggle_

_singsong voice_

Horcruxes, Horcruxes, Harry ain't got no Horcruxes.

_returns to normal voice_

If he did, he wouldn't have _died_!

_maniacal laughter_

He died. Harry died. He died fighting Voldemort.

_giggle_

Said his name again. Voldemort. He died fighting Voldmort.

Or… not really…

SUBJECT: Granger, Hermione J.  
Doctor: Greyson, Balthazar Q.  
Time: 18:15 September 22nd, 2005.

**Dr. Greyson:** What do you mean 'not really', Hermione?

He shot the killing curse at Voldemort, and he died. He _actually_ died.

_pause_

But then we told Harry—

SUBJECT: Weasley, Ronald B.  
Doctor: Vertrusca, Marylin.  
Time: 18:16 September 22nd, 2005.

_We_ said uh, uh, uh! Naughty naughty, bad bad Potty! You didn't destroy the last Horcrux.

You know, there were seven.

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Five…

Six…

Seven…

He only destroyed six. Voldemort was six.

_giggle_

Bad, bad Potty didn't tell us what seven was. No he didn't. Didn't want us to worry. Didn't give us time to worry.

He knew seven, yes he did. He knew from the very start.

We thought he did a bad, bad thing. We thought Voldemort would come back.

_giggle_

Voldemort's dead, isn't he? Just like Harry.

_singsong voice_

Horcruxes, Horcruxes, Harry ain't got no Horcruxes.

SUBJECT: Granger, Hermione J.  
Doctor: Greyson, Balthazar Q.  
Time: 18:20 September 22nd, 2005.

**Dr. Greyson:** When you say Harry didn't want you to worry, what do you mean? Why would you worry?

It's the last Horcrux, you see. Voldemort died in his new body, but he still had one piece of his soul left. It's where he kept it that—

_loud sob_

I just—

_crying_

I can't believe he did it!

**Dr. Greyson:** Did what? Hermione, what did Harry do?

SUBJECT: Weasley, Ronald B.  
Doctor: Vertrusca, Marylin.  
Time: 18:23 September 22nd, 2005.

Not telling. Not telling. Not telling.

_giggle_

Shan't say nothing if you don't say pleaseeeeeee…

_laughter_

Peeves was funny. I liked Peeves.

**Dr. Vertrusca:** Ronald, please. What did Harry do after he killed Voldemort.

_whisper_

He killed himself.

_giggle_

Yes he did, yes he did. Harry Potter killed himself.

_laughter_

Big hero. Big hero. He knew where the last Horcrux was. He knew where it was, and he didn't tell us. Nope. Not me, not Hermione. He didn't tell us.

**Dr. Vertrusca:** Where was it? Ronald, _where_ was the last Horcrux?

SUBJECT: Granger, Hermione J.  
Doctor: Greyson, Balthazar Q.  
Time: 18:26 September 22nd, 2005.

_uncontrollable crying_

**In his scar!**

_more crying_

He knew it. All along. Harry knew the last Horcrux would be in his scar. He had to kill Voldemort before he could destroy the last piece of Voldemort's soul. Voldemort never could've known Harry knew where the last Horcrux was. Voldemort never wanted to kill Harry, he wanted to extract the piece of his soul which should have been left safely inside the body of a dead one-year-old.

But Harry _lived_!

_more crying_

He lived! So the piece of Voldemort's soul stayed inside him. Harry killed Voldemort, and then smiled at us. He _smiled_!

It's over, he said to us. It's over forever. I love you.

_more crying_

And then,

_sob_

He turned his wand on himself. And he—he said the most Unforgivable of the Unforgivable curses!

_hysterical crying_

SUBJECT: Weasley, Ronald B.  
Doctor: Vertrusca, Marylin.  
Time: 18:30 September 22nd, 2005.

And then…

He died.

_giggle_

_singsong voice_

Horcruxes, Horcruxes, Harry ain't got no Horcruxes.

**END.**


End file.
